How To Date Or Marry A Canadian.
There's nothing like the breath of maple syrup.
✨ The Beauty of Canadians
The Canadian is a majestic being. From afar he is polite.
He's patient. He has the ketchup chips. He has the free healthcare.
And how sexy is that 2 years of mandatory French he took in middle school? Omelet du fromage.
Canadians are highly talented people who move to America when they become successful. Some notable Canadians are Avril Lavigne, Jim Carrey, Celine Dion, Justin Bieber, Elon Musk, Drake, Ryan Gosling, and Bryan Adams.
Unfortunately for you, Canadians have been elusive in your life. There's almost no way to determine if someone is Canadian. It's not like they walk around with the Canadian flag on their backs or wear clothes showcasing beavers and geese.
🇨🇦 How to Snag A Canadian
Canadians can most commonly be found in their homeland, Canada, which was created in 1867 when they successfully nagged the British into giving up the land. Although Canada is a highly developed nation, its economy is strongly dependent on its natural resources, and many Canadians are involved in lumberjacking, fishing, and export of oil and presumably ice blocks (like what that guy was doing in the movie Frozen). During the icy winter months, Canadians like lemmings do not hibernate and remain surprisingly active in large underground tunnels that connect offices, malls, subway stations, and GoodLife Fitness. During the summer month, Canadians leave their tunnels to frolic around in parks and drink "ice caps" when they miss the cold too much.
The best way to "pick up" a Canadian is to travel there during the summer month of July when the weather is warm and their igloos have melted. Note that many Canadians now live in brick-based homes and not actual igloos, but it's still customary for them to say, "let's go back back to my igloo and chill," so don't be surprised when you don't see a snow igloo. Likewise, in French-occupied Canada, they refer to their cars as "chariots."
The typical Canadian can be identified by their Lululemon clothing, Canada Goose jackets, and Aldo shoes. They can often be seen drinking Tim Hortons, Molson Canadian beer, and eating poutine. They regularly shop at a place called the Canadian Tire which has its own fake money called Canadian Tire money, so be careful not to mix it in with real Canadian money.
Now when you see a Canadian you like, walk straight toward them, look them in the eye, and strongly mumble, "sorry". Now wait for a sudden flustered downward look away and a "sorry" back. This indicates the beginning of the traditional Canadian mating ritual. If you don't get a "sorry" back, it's highly likely the person isn't interested in you or is an American tourist. Repeat this process until you get a date or your visa expires.
Unfortunately, Canada is full of killer whales, polar bears, and black ice, so it is very dangerous to actually go there to find a Canadian to date.
A much safer option is to use Fairytrail app to snag a Canadian from the safety of your own country.
To do this in the Fairytrail app:
1. Tap the menu button on the top left corner
2. Tap "Settings"
3. Tap "Search Preferences"
4. Choose Canada as the "Nationality" and your own country as "Current Country"
...
With Fairytrail, you'll be able to meet handsome Canadians like this one in your own country.
So say goodbye to killer polar bears and say hello/bonjour to the safety of Fairytrail!
